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坑爹幻途

第三章 偷食物

坑爹幻途 闪耀的沙子 2104 2019-09-24 15:34:35

  {"body":[{"id":"40067704605900800","sort":0,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"饿,饿,饿,你就知道吃"},{"id":"40067704605900801","sort":1024,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹,不要生气的嘛,虽然你帅气的外表没能吸引女嘉宾,但是啦啦还有后招滴啦"},{"id":"40067704605900802","sort":2048,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"还有什么后招?"},{"id":"40067704605900803","sort":3072,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹,你留口水滴样子……你去卖相,如何?"},{"id":"40067704605900804","sort":4096,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"死啦啦,你胡说什么?"},{"id":"40067704605900805","sort":5120,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹,你可别想歪了呀,啦啦的意思是你用你的美貌,再加上你那丰富无比的想象表演起来,必定能吸引无数观众,这时候啦啦就向周围观众收钱"},{"id":"40067704605900806","sort":6144,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"死啦啦,明显挖坑让我跳,我啥都不会,表演什么?"},{"id":"40067704605900807","sort":7168,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"哎呀,你跳广场舞呗!反正这个世界没有广场舞,爹爹再不去卖艺,啦啦就要饿死了,呜呜~"},{"id":"40067704605900808","sort":8192,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"我不会,最讨厌广场舞了"},{"id":"40067704605900809","sort":9216,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"所以嘛,这个世界没有广场舞"},{"id":"40067704605900810","sort":10240,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"我哪里会?"},{"id":"40067704605900811","sort":11264,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"不会就瞎跳,没吃过猪肉还没见过猪跑?以爹爹帅气的外表,加强装逼的格调,一定可以吸引许多大妈,说不定有人看上你了哦!!"},{"id":"40067704605900812","sort":12288,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"去你的,你才是猪呢!就像挖坑让我跳,这叫才艺表演,什么装逼的格调?你脑袋里都想什么?还吸引大妈……"},{"id":"40067704605900813","sort":13312,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"对对对,准确的说街头卖艺,重要的是爹爹赚到钱,不让啦啦饿着肚子……"},{"id":"40067704605900814","sort":14336,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"你就想到你自己,不如你去卖萌,说不定吸引更多的观众"},{"id":"40067704605900815","sort":15360,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹,你忍心让这么可爱的啦啦抛头露面吗?"},{"id":"40067704605900816","sort":16384,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"你向观众收钱也是抛头露面了"},{"id":"40067704605900817","sort":17408,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"那一样吗?你表演人家集瞧在你身上,如果我去卖萌,人家抢走我什么办?那爹爹不仅没有我这么可爱的女儿了嘛?再说,你是爹爹,你能不管女儿的温饱问题吗?你羞不羞?"},{"id":"40067704605900818","sort":18432,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"……"},{"id":"40067704605900819","sort":19456,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹,我们赶紧找个地方,你跳跳广场舞,我就去收钱,先把今天的晚饭解决了"},{"id":"40067704605900820","sort":20480,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"……"},{"id":"40067704605900821","sort":21504,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"啦啦都饿瘦了"},{"id":"40067704605900822","sort":22528,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"都被你给说饿了"},{"id":"40067704605900823","sort":23552,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"那赶紧的,哪来那么多的废话"},{"id":"40067704605900824","sort":24576,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"……"},{"id":"40067704605900825","sort":25600,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"在啦啦面前,又气又恨,一点办法都没有。我对自己一点记忆都没有,这个世界我又不懂他们的语言和规矩,自己又没本事,更重要的是我要弄清楚我是谁,我为什么来这里?还有,我什么会幻想出一个坑爹的宝宝?"},{"id":"40069058611118080","sort":26624,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"就这里"},{"id":"40069058611118081","sort":27648,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"啦啦也不知道从哪里拿来一个锣鼓,边敲边喊我不懂的语言"},{"id":"40069058611118082","sort":28672,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"@#~$%&……"},{"id":"40069058611118083","sort":29696,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"我愣住不动,不知道它说什么"},{"id":"40069058611118084","sort":30720,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹,快跳……"},{"id":"40069058611118085","sort":31744,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"跳什么"},{"id":"40069058611118086","sort":32768,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"广场舞啊……"},{"id":"40069058611118087","sort":33792,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"无奈我随便扭动腰,挥动手,感觉十分别扭"},{"id":"40069058611118088","sort":34816,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"没音乐,不知道什么跳"},{"id":"40069058611118089","sort":35840,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"也不知道啦啦从哪里拿出个放音机,放着《最炫民族风》,响起:苍茫的天涯是我的爱……"},{"id":"40069058611118090","sort":36864,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"快跳快跳"},{"id":"40069058611118091","sort":37888,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"接着啦啦向周围的观众狂喊,也不知道它说什么"},{"id":"40069058611118092","sort":38912,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"$%?~$&……"},{"id":"40069058611118093","sort":39936,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"周围的观众纷纷向我这边靠过来,我暗喜,这啦啦还是有点头脑"},{"id":"40069058611118094","sort":40960,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"$%?~$&……"},{"id":"40069058611118095","sort":41984,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"啦啦重复的说,边打锣鼓吆喝,我分明感觉到自己在古代街头卖艺的感觉"},{"id":"40069058611118096","sort":43008,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"你这个主意不错,还挺聪明的"},{"id":"40069058611118097","sort":44032,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"那当然了,谁叫我是爹爹幻想最聪明的孩子呢"},{"id":"40069058611118098","sort":45056,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"不对,我这暗喜的心情还没到高峰,气氛就不对,刚围过来的观众只看一眼,做一个不屑的摆手姿势转身就走,啦啦连向人家讨钱的机会都没有"},{"id":"40069058611118099","sort":46080,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"&#@&……"},{"id":"40069058611118100","sort":47104,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"啦啦着急的喊着,应该是叫回观众的语气,但是观众那不屑的眼神,自然不会回头,我都要气炸了,老子拼命的扭腰,弯腿,摆手,居然换来不屑的眼神"},{"id":"40069058611118101","sort":48128,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"什么鬼,居然看不起我"},{"id":"40069058611118102","sort":49152,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹呀!你耍猴也得像个耍猴的样子,你看看,你哪点像耍猴的样子?"},{"id":"40069058611118103","sort":50176,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"耍猴?我大怒"},{"id":"40069058611118104","sort":51200,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"这明明是广场舞,哪里是耍猴?"},{"id":"40069058611118105","sort":52224,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹呀!我要不说耍猴,连围观群众一个都不会有,这里的人最讨厌广场舞了"},{"id":"40069058611118106","sort":53248,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"你……"},{"id":"40069058611118107","sort":54272,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"气死我了,这啦啦竟然坑我,让我跳广场舞,居然对周围的人说看耍猴!这坑爹真的坑到家了"},{"id":"40069058611118108","sort":55296,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹呀,你那耍帅的外表,啦啦在脑袋里幻想过无数遍,跳广场舞就是耍猴的表演,你居然跳得不伦不类,果然是三坑滴帅气爹爹"},{"id":"40069058611118109","sort":56320,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"死啦啦,你才是真正的坑爹"},{"id":"40069058611118110","sort":57344,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹,你不能怪啦啦,要怪只怪你自己,谁让你讨厌广场舞,所以这个世界的广场舞不受欢迎,而你最喜欢耍猴,所以我一喊耍猴,狂多人过来,要怪就怪你自己"},{"id":"40069058611118111","sort":58368,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"大怒"},{"id":"40069058611118112","sort":59392,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"那你为什么不说让我表演耍猴?"},{"id":"40069058611118113","sort":60416,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹呀!一是你不会,二是你帅气的外表,喜欢装逼,跟你说让你耍猴,你绝对不干"},{"id":"40069058611118114","sort":61440,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"死啦啦,别跟我说话,别跟着我"},{"id":"40069058611118115","sort":62464,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"我满腔怒火,快去离开,立刻马上离开啦啦,这货今天已经坑爹两次了"},{"id":"40069058611118116","sort":63488,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹,爹爹……等等啦啦……"},{"id":"40069058611118117","sort":64512,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"我不理会,直接跑了起来,一会终于没看到啦啦追上来,松了一口气,想想干什么去?"},{"id":"40069058611118118","sort":65536,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"现在最重要的是解决吃饭的问题,然后想办法学习这里的语言,弄懂这里的规则"},{"id":"40069058611118119","sort":66560,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"我漫无目的的向前走,也没想出能找到饭吃的办法。虽然刚才很生气啦啦,但是没它好像真不行,这里的人不懂我说的话,这死啦啦,要是不坑爹就好了"},{"id":"40069058611118120","sort":67584,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"这街道上香气扑鼻,饿的整个胃都疼了,什么才能弄到吃的,不会要我去偷,去抢吧!这可是犯法的事情"},{"id":"40069058611118121","sort":68608,"type":1,"role":"40068643624943687","content":"抓住它,抓住它"},{"id":"40069058611118122","sort":69632,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"我回头一看,只见衙役头头带领一群衙役正在追捕啦啦,啦啦嘴里吊着肉,四只腿疯狂的朝我这边跑。"},{"id":"40069058611118123","sort":70656,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"死啦啦,肯定偷东西,又要坑我"},{"id":"40069058611118124","sort":71680,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹,爹爹,快跑"},{"id":"40069058611118125","sort":72704,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"也不知道啦啦嘴里叼着肉,是如何说话的"},{"id":"40069058611118126","sort":73728,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"我才不跑呢,你偷东西关我什么事?"},{"id":"40069058611118127","sort":74752,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"@$%$#……"},{"id":"40069058611118128","sort":75776,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"我心里大惊,必定不是什么好事"},{"id":"40069058611118129","sort":76800,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"你说什么?"},{"id":"40069058611118130","sort":77824,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"我对他们说,是你指使我偷东西的,我是你女儿,从小就培养成小偷,帅气的爹爹赶紧跑……"},{"id":"40069058611118131","sort":78848,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"我这下又惊又怒,这死啦啦,明显就是想坑死我的节凑"},{"id":"40069058611118132","sort":79872,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"死啦啦,等避过这个风头,看我什么收拾你"},{"id":"40069058611118133","sort":80896,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"快跑快跑……"},{"id":"40069058611118134","sort":81920,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"我正准备跑,被衙役按住了,而啦啦乘乱跑得无影无踪"},{"id":"40069058611118135","sort":82944,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"死啦啦,自己偷食物,居然让我定罪,这个世界不知道什么规矩,万一偷东西判死刑,那真是冤"},{"id":"40069058611118136","sort":83968,"type":1,"role":"40068643624943687","content":"@$&~#……"},{"id":"40069058611118137","sort":84992,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"不知道他说什么鬼话,又不像你已经被捕了,你可以保持沉默,但是你所说的一切将成为呈当证供……因为口型不对"},{"id":"40069058611118138","sort":86016,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"衙役头头狂说一顿,估计他们也听不懂我说的,我懒得解释,反正现在饿着肚子,自己刚来这里什么都不知道,跑不动,听不懂,肚子饿,爱什么办就什么办"},{"id":"40069058611118139","sort":87040,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"抓吧!抓吧!我没什么可说的"},{"id":"40069058611118140","sort":88064,"type":1,"role":"40068643624943687","content":"*:#@&……"},{"id":"40069058611118141","sort":89088,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"就这样我被他们押进了“牢房”,这牢房比酒店还豪华,我路过各个房间都是打开的没一个犯人。什么鬼?这是关犯人还是让犯人享受?"}],"sentencecount":88}

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